


An Internal Emptiness (All's Well that Ends Well)

by Kimium



Category: Black Clover - Tabata Yuki (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Brief mention of canon scenes, Dreams, Fluff, Hugs, Introspection, Kisses, Langris acting professional... well as professional as he can get, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, Mild Spoilers, One Shot, Pining, Set post Reincarnation Arc, Slightly murky canon timeline
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:21:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26118733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kimium/pseuds/Kimium
Summary: One Shot. Post Reincarnation Arc. Mild spoilers."Patri wasn’t there, wasn’t a solid weight in the back of his mind anymore. If William reached out his thoughts, they’d just meet empty space, no one to bounce a silent conversation until one of them fell asleep. Just a void, a complete emptiness that internally filled his brain, an itch that could never be scratched."William is having a hard time, realising his mind seems vaster than what he was accustomed to. (Or: William is pining after Patri and perhaps Patri is pining after him in return.)
Relationships: Patri/William Vangeance
Comments: 8
Kudos: 53





	An Internal Emptiness (All's Well that Ends Well)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> This is my first time writing a Black Clover fic! It's also my 175th fic and I decided that it would be a lot of fun to try writing for a new fandom. I did a huge binge watch of Black Clover, so my brain was swirling with a lot of ideas. I started this fic with the nudging idea in my brain saying "I bet William feels strange once Patri is no longer a soul sharing the same body as him. Maybe I should explore that?" Yet, somehow this idea morphed into "William is just pining hard after Patri but doesn't realise it." Ahaha. That's the power of love?
> 
> Still, I had a ton of fun with this fic. It turned out a lot more introspective and less dialogue heavy, but I needed to work out William's voice for this fic. I hope I did a good enough job. This also means I apologise for the lack of conversation. Maybe if I write another Black Clover fic I'll try my hand at interactions? I also have some notes at the bottom to help clear up any other thoughts that were in my mind as I wrote this fic.
> 
> Anyways, please feel free to leave me kudos and or comments. Those really help motivate me! Also, if you want to check out my tumblr please feel free to do so! The link is right [here](http://www.kimium.tumblr.com).

It was only after Fuegoleon and Nozel had taken over the squads and the efforts to rebuild, after William had sobbed at Julius’s immense kindness, and after he had given orders to his own recovering squad did William notice the emptiness inside of him.

Silence was something he had grown up with. William was no stranger to it. He had grown up in a massive mansion with walls too big and hallways too long. He had sat at tables where there was more than a polite amount of space between the occupants. William had been a part of conversations that despite going on around him didn’t penetrate the silence around himself, like an outsider only able to hear a conversation and not participate. But William wasn’t entirely familiar with isolation. Yes, he had been isolated growing up. All the adults shunned him or treated him cruelly and the children stayed away, learning from the adults around them. Yet, with Patri inside of him, a presence he had always been varying degrees aware of, William couldn’t entirely say he was isolated.

Except for now. William slumped inside of his room, already told to get some rest, and touched his chest. His fingers lingered over the tattered robe that Patri had donned, mostly white in some places except the holes with darkened blood crusted over the ripped edges. Ruined beyond hope yet in the moment the clothes were the only part of Patri that William had left. A small strangled laugh escaped his lips and William dropped his hand, running it down the rest of the mostly unsullied fabric. Logically the clothing had to go. It was not just due to the ruined nature of the cloth but what it represented. Elves had just tried to invade the kingdom and kill all humans yet William was considering keeping the clearly elven fashioned garment simply because it reminded him of Patri.

There was too much to unpack in that line of thought. Giving another small laugh at himself, William took his mask off and went to wash up. In the bathroom the mirror reflected his face back, scars and exhaustion resting like a bundle. Turning the water on William washed up with the little energy he had left before dressing loosely and going to bed.

The covers were just as soft and warm as usual. Closing his eyes, William attempted to shut his mind off, fall into relaxation. He needed his strength so he could assist with the repairs to the city. It was the least he could do, especially after two of his fellow captains had self designated themselves as the heads of the operation. Yet the silence in his brain, one born out of complete isolation saturated itself within William. A circle of thought ran through his brain, screaming at him that he was missing something, that a part of him was gone. He had to fix it, had to bring that other part of him back, fill the void that was slowly widening inside. Patri wasn’t there, wasn’t a solid weight in the back of his mind anymore. If William reached out his thoughts, they’d just meet empty space, no one to bounce a silent conversation until one of them fell asleep. Just a void, a complete emptiness that internally filled his brain, an itch that could never be scratched. Tossing to his side, William attempted to shut his brain off, to allow the emptiness to lull him to sleep. Instead the emptiness threatened to consume him in its endless spiral of desire to be filled.

Sleep came slowly.

~

_Sadness, soft and light, lingered for a fleeting second on William’s tongue, slipping and dancing away as his consciousness rose to the surface. Darkness faded from behind his eyes and the binding chains of forbidden magic ebbed away into the darkness of Asta’s anti-magic. Dull light from the evening sky pressed against his eyelids, gently coaxing them open. William took a sharp breath of air, his lungs expanding within his chest slowly, as though he had truly been only asleep. Opening his eyes, the first thing William took in was the destroyed landscape all around them. Buildings were toppled over, rubble coating the streets. Fires were burning and some had burned, merely leaving dark, ashen remains. Taking another deep breath William immediately tasted the ashes and smoke along with a thick layer of magic. It coated his lips and his tongue, replacing the sadness with bitterness, desperation, and hatred. William swallowed it down silently and turned to his audience in front of him._

_Asta’s sword had long been lowered to his side, but the phantom weight of it against his chest lingered. William’s fingers twitched but he didn’t lift his hand to press against his chest. Next the various members of the Black Bulls, dusty and scraped up. Then, his fellow magic knight captains. A small seed of guilt which easily full on blossomed in his chest erupted as William scanned them, though it paled in comparison when William’s eyes fell on Yami. Guilt tangled his lungs, curling and coiling around the organ, threatening to squeeze every last drop of air out, until William asphyxiated. A violent flash of memories scattered in William’s mind, dripping in sepia tones, the angle skewed, as though William was a bystander witnessing the death of the Wizard King. If only that was the case. The truth burned along with the violent flash of memories and William wanted nothing more than to curl up into a ball and weep, begging for forgiveness. But now wasn’t the time. Crying and tears wouldn’t solve the problem he had passively had a hand in and it wouldn’t bring Julius back._

_“Yami,” William couldn’t help the words falling from his mouth, “if it isn’t too selfish of a request, please let me see Julius.”_

_Yami’s eyes narrowed, gaze tightening along with his mouth. The cigarette that Yami would never be seen without smoldered away before the man pulled it out and drew out a long breath of smoke. “Yeah, of course.”_

_Curt and soft but far more than William even deserved. He deserved anger and rage, not softness and pained understanding. Perhaps after everything was solved then Yami would come after William. He’d let Yami, as though he had some sort of say in the punishment he so rightly deserved._

_“There is still time to fix this. I know how," William’s voice filled the air, soft, as though he hadn’t fully materialised in the world._

_Automatically his Grimoire glowed a soft green before floating in the air. Flipping open the pages flew across before landing on his signature spell, the one that always showed why William was a magic knight captain. Lifting his arm, William cast his World Tree magic, watching as roots and branches began to grow effortlessly, until the town was completely covered. It was only when Licht walked up and touched William’s hand, warmly covering his own that William’s heart fluttered around a void within, screaming silently about an empty piece within his soul. The fluttering was brief, only for a second, but the pain silently continued, lacing underneath the guilt._

_Later, when Patri was brought back, the body that Licht had been possessing resting warmly in William’s arms did that empty space fill up. Shutting his eyes, William knocked their foreheads together and, just for a moment, pretended that it was just the two of them. Silent, yes, but not isolated._

~

When William woke his brain was still buzzing and sleep felt barely like a minute had passed rather than seven and a half hours.

Today was going to be a long day. The emptiness still gnawed at the back of William’s mind. He did his best to ignore it.

~

Papers, stacked neatly and high sat on William’s desk, waiting patiently for him to sign them. Dipping his quill into the almost empty pot of black ink, William tapped the tip along the glass rim, watching the excess ink drip. Behind him the curtains were open, heavy red velvet tied by thick gold coils, exposing the dying embers of the day. Orange, red, blues, and purples streaked the sky, mixing and swirling into the sunset, bathing the world in amber tones. The sun slid down the sky, slowly and languidly, like a splattered orange against a painter’s canvas. Soon the orange would fade with the blues and purples taking over and creating the night sky.

Despite being in his office for majority of the day doing paperwork (even more so now that their vice captain was still out of commission for various reasons) William could sense the sluggish end to the day following the activity of his squad dwindling to a low roar. Besides some border patrols and other long missions, majority of his squad were down for the evening. Most people were enjoying dinner or spending time with friends or family. Even with the town still a mess, construction around almost every corner, humans found a way to create a bubble of comfort around them.

Without his mask on in the private space William was free to touch his scarred forehead, unmarred fingers against the discoloured flesh. The mark that had caused so much discrimination and pain from his childhood didn’t feel any different under his fingers than any other part of himself. There was no bump or different texture, no other indication besides appearance. In his office if William didn’t turn to look out the window, there was no way to see the scars. When he was younger William remembered closing his eyes, pretending for a fraction of a moment that his face wasn’t something others made him feel ashamed over.

Well, everyone until he met Julius. William’s hand tightened around his quill and a spark of guilt, spilled around the edges of his heart. Julius’s words, about how he had to make up for his mistakes and continue the long path to fix him swirled in his brain, covering every corner. There was no time for him to wallow in pity. Julius wasn’t letting him and even if Julius wasn’t paying attention Yami certain wouldn’t either. William’s lips tightened and he tapped the quill against the ink pot’s rim one final time, the sound loud within the silence of the room, and turned his attention to the papers. Signing a few more documents (mostly approval for a variety of things around the squad) William almost completed another pile when a sharp knock echoed on his door.

“Captain Vangeance!” A muffled voice called from outside.

Grabbing his mask, William set it on his face. The familiar confines and narrowing of his field of vision barely noticeable. “Do come in.”

The door opened, revealing a messenger from the Palace guards. Shutting the door, the man politely saluted to William before walking up to his desk, a rolled scroll in hand.

“Message from the Wizard King, sir.”

William took the scroll. Indeed, it was sealed with Julius’s seal, the red wax neatly shutting the edges. “Thank you. I appreciate the hard work.”

“Just doing my job, sir," the man stepped back. “If I may be excused?”

“Certainly,” William gave a smile.

“Thank you, Captain Vangeance. I bid you a good evening.”

The man saluted again before he left, shutting the door softly behind him. William waited a few seconds before he took his mask off. Digging around in his desk drawer, he pulled out a letter opener. Slicing under the wax seal, William opened it. It wasn’t just a message from Julius but also a report from the Black Bulls, which William carefully read.

“Devils, huh?” William muttered to himself. “Just what sort of ploy is Julius attempting?”

Not that it was surprising. The newspaper had Asta’s face all over the front page, slander following the photo in a clearly biased article. The unfairness and rage over the situation burned hotly within William, almost making him storm the courtroom and confess his involvement. Sadly, the logical part of William knew they’d never listen to him. The public (mainly the nobility) was bound and determined to blame someone different. Certainly, placing blame on the Golden Dawn, the best magic knight squad in the country, was not something they’d ever do. Their only option was for Julius to play the system, make it appear as though he was cooperating with them while dealing with Asta. Unfair, yes, but everyone’s hands were tied.

(William would need to make a note to send a gift to the Black Bulls as an apology.)

Still, the investigation into Devils wasn’t the only part. William scanned the bottom of the letter, noting Julius’s request that they’d meet for a public announcement as well as a Captain’s meeting stood out as though Julius had written it in red ink. There was more to this than just vague promises to investigate Devils and if William had to take a guess, Julius had concrete information regarding where to find said Devils. Rolling the scroll up, William stared at the pile of paperwork on his desk. It appeared some of it would just have to wait a bit longer.

~

_“You’re leaving already?”_

_Patri turned around, moonlight hitting his face, highlighting the fine features of his facial structure. Under the pale light his hair and clothing appeared to glow, other worldly and impossible to fit in reality. William’s arms ached to reach out and touch Patri, to feel him solidly against his body once more._

_“You know I have to, William," Patri’s voice was soft, quiet. Quieter than William had ever heard it before. “It’s for the best.”_

_A plead filled William’s tongue immediately, the words wanting to form into begging. ‘Don’t leave me, don’t go’. The words were so sweet and tempting on William’s tongue. Warm desperation filled his lungs and for a moment William imagined Patri in the Golden Dawn’s robes, as though he truly belonged at William’s side. The moment the image popped up William smothered it with a vicious shade of pink dancing across his face. What kind of fantasy was he trying to cling onto? Beyond the obvious reasons why Patri couldn’t stay, it was also foolish to assume Patri even wanted to stay with William. How presumptuous. William deflated. The wind picked up, dancing along the darkened trees, leaves blowing into the night sky._

_“I understand," William replied, voice also too soft. “I wish you safe travels. May we meet again.”_

_Patri gave a very small smile, as though he picked up on something that William hadn’t said before nodding, stepping a bit closer. “Thank you, my dear William.”_

_The space between them suddenly filled and for a moment William was being hugged by Patri. Air escaped his lungs and William shut his eyes, returning the hug. Against his chest William the warmth from Patri pressed into his clothing, lingering. Then, as quickly as it happened it ended and William was left alone in the field with nothing but the fading heat from Patri to keep him company._

~

Sleep dripped off William like water on a duck’s back, unable to stick and forever sliding off. Opening his eyes, William rolled over in his bed, the covers tangled around his legs. Dawn was breaking across the sky, the first tendrils of sunlight poking at his curtains, wanting to pass through. Soon he’d have to get up and go to the Capital and meet with his fellow Captains. A small tinge of exhaustion hit William and he pressed his face against his pillow, shutting his eyes. Deep within William could sense the emptiness within him, a strange buzz of darkness that, similar to one of Yami’s attacks, swallowed everything within its path. Rough and with jagged edges it screamed at William that he had lost something forever. A jagged hole within him that demanded something occupy it, a presence fill the space, like someone pressing on a wound to help staunch the bleeding. The last remnants of his dream clung to William’s mind, floating like driftwood down a stream. His arms ached at the phantom sensation of Patri within his arms. Cruelly William’s brain wondered what it would have been like if Patri had stayed for just a bit longer, his presence solidly around William in a way they had never thought possible before.

“What a mess,” William muttered to himself before sitting up, covers pooling around his legs. “There is a reason why the elves left so quickly. Don’t be selfish.”

Chiding himself did little to ease the phantom sensation in his arms but it helped William banish the remnants of his dream. Getting out of bed, William ran through the routine of getting ready before heading out to the dining hall. At the time of day a few Golden Dawn guards were about, everyone giving him polite nods and greetings as he passed. William responded in kind and soon seated himself in the dining hall with a simple breakfast. By the time he finished sunlight was pooling into the dining hall, dying the hall with a warm yellow glow. Leaving the hall after thanking the chef, William made his way to his office. There was still time before their public announcement. A small tinge of worry hit him as he made his way, his mind reminding him of Julius’s condition but surely Julius had that covered. What mattered was the appearance of all the Captains plus the “Wizard King”. Then, their Captain’s meeting.

Shutting himself back in his office, William sat down and grabbed the report and quickly scanned it. After all it never harmed anyone to review reports. Yet, as William attempted to concentrate his mind drifted, the words blurring on the pages. The silence within his room and mind soon was apparent, harsh and suffocating. (There was something missing, something that was precious. Why did the void not leave? Why was it still present?) Slamming his hand down on his desk William exhaled slowly. Setting the papers down William stood up and exited his office. Walking down the halls of the Golden Dawn’s headquarters William didn’t stop until he was in their private garden. People milled around, heading to their destinations. Still quiet but noise occupied the area. Floating up to the thickest branch of a tall tree, William sat down and leaned against the trunk. Instantly the mana within the tree called out to him, drawn to his powers. The familiar hum of nature and the bustle of his own squad quelled the void within him.

(At least, for now.)

~

After their public announcement (which of course, did not go the way it was planned at all. William should have suspected as much with Yami and Jack mysteriously absent), meeting, and six-month deadline given William found himself not just buried in paperwork but training his squad. True to the other Captain’s words, everyone was slowly coming together, cooperating with other squads to better themselves. However, that did not mean that William could shuffle the burden entirely on his fellow Magic Knight Captains. So, shuffled between his paperwork, meetings and obligations, William had training slotted in. Even with Langris back on the field performing his vice captain duties William still found himself falling exhausted to bed every night.

Such was how he found himself a couple days later, face half buried in his pillow, half of his uniform slung over his chair and half still on him. Closing his eyes, William allowed his body to sink into his bed, sleep tickling the edges of his mind. Gravity weighed heavily within him, anchoring his limbs to the ground. Combined with exhaustion and the temptation to just crawl into his covers and sleep drifted in William’s mind. Yet, deep down, William knew he’d regret it, so with heavy arms he prompted himself up and headed to his bathroom. Ridding himself of his uniform, William washed up, the cool water against his face half waking him up. Suddenly alert, William meandered his way to his bed, exhaustion dictating that folding his clothes was for later while his sudden half awakened state had him lying with his eyes open. Staring at his ceiling, William attempted to shut his eyes, but soon the familiar void within his mind crawled. Like a shadow edging closer, growing bigger, the emptiness within him burned softly. A large part of his mind kept reaching out, searching for the second presence within him. Frowning, William turned to his side and pulled the covers over him a bit tighter.

In a way he couldn’t help but feel the burn of a small voice telling him this was pathetic. He and Patri should have never shared a body in the same place. Forbidden magic had been at work and now that they were separated it was how nature intended it. Yet, the solitude was deafening and unbearable. Was this how everyone else in the world felt all the time? William had only been like this for about a week and it was already too little and too much at the same time. Yet, what was he supposed to do? William couldn’t very well ask Patri to once again share a body with him. He also couldn’t just talk to Patri anymore. It wasn’t as though Patri left William a way to communicate with him. A small twist in his heart burned and William shoved the thought away.

His worries and agony weren’t important. The Heart Kingdom and in conjunction the Clover Kingdom were in danger. No one could spare a moment to comfort William just because he lost his body sharing elf. Shutting his eyes tightly, William willed himself to fall asleep. A sleep which came awkwardly and clunkily.

~

_Grass was under William and along the horizon lay soft rolling hills. A breeze flew past William, ruffling his hair. Odd. Where was his mask? William looked around but came face to face with Patri. Blinking, William stared at the elf and all his gorgeous features. A soft smile graced Patri’s face and with very gentle motions a hand came up to cup William’s face, tugging him closer._

_“You miss me,” Patri’s voice was very warm. “Don’t you, William?”_

_“I—” What was there to say to that? William numbly nodded. “Of course, I do. You’re very important to me.”_

_“I’m glad to hear that," Patri leaned in, their foreheads practically touching. “You’re very important to me too.”_

_He then closed the distance between them. William blinked once before his brain could register the soft sensation of Patri’s lips on his, kissing him firmly but gently. Arms wrapped around his shoulders and soon William’s back was pressed to the grass, Patri looming over him, filling William’s vision. A blush spread across William’s face._

_“Patri—”_

_“You don’t hate this, right?” Patri asked, leaning down. “Because I don’t hate it. I’d like to kiss you again, if you’d let me.”_

_What could William say to that? A beat passed and soon they were kissing again, a slick heat passing between them, threatening to burst out of William’s chest with flames hotter than any fire._

~

William woke with a burst, his heart pounding hotly in his chest. Grasping his shirt, William stared down at his legs for a long moment before his brain caught up with him. Immediately a blush, not unlike the one from his dreams, spread across his face. Just what was his brain doing, conjuring a dream like that? There was no way, not in a million years that Patri liked him like that, right? Let alone William’s own feelings. Did he even like Patri like that?

Groaning William flopped down into his bed and attempted to smother a hysterical giggle that threatened to burst from his lungs. Of course, when multiple kingdoms were facing a crisis William’s heart and brain decided to ponder his potential love life. What terrible timing. Glancing at his clock, which told him it was too early to be up and he needed more sleep, William once again closed his eyes and tried to pretend his dream wasn’t running on loop in his mind.

~

“Captain Vangeance, if I may be blunt?”

William yawned behind his hand and looked up at Langris, who was standing on the other side of his desk. Like always Langris was dressed perfectly, nothing out of place, yet there was a different sort of air around him. If Yami was present he’d tell William it was his “ki” but William didn’t need Yami’s foreign concept to tell that something had changed within Langris. No longer brimming with hostility the air around Langris was blunt, like a practice sword purposefully blunted for training. Sure, it could still cause damage and bruises but it wasn’t about to take someone’s head off (metaphorically) at one wrong word.

“Yes, Langris. Feel free to speak your mind with me at any time. You need not have permission.”

“Thank you, sir," Langris took a deep breath before squarely looking at William. “Are you sleeping well? You’ve yawned five times during my report and are slower to answer my questions, which is extremely unprofessional of you. If you’re not sleeping properly, you’ll pull the whole squad down. If you’re running yourself ragged now, we’ll be in serious trouble come the end of our six months.”

Ah. Well William did tell Langris to speak his mind. Cursing his brain and the dream from the night, William gave his best smile. “My apologies, Langris. You caught me. I didn’t sleep well last night. I’ll do my best in the future to make sure I get enough sleep.”

Langris leveled a look before he sighed and set his report down on the desk. “I’ll hold you to that, Captain, but as I always tell my foolish brother: simply trying isn’t enough. Get enough sleep or I’ll drag a healer down to make sure you fall asleep," he then saluted William. “If I’m dismissed?”

He didn’t wait for William’s confirmation, leaving the office with the door clicking behind him. William stared at the door before he took his mask off, rubbing his face with one hand. How embarrassing that he was falling apart so quickly. Somehow, he could manage years with Patri planning inside his head to overthrow the kingdom yet here he was, unable to sleep due to one dream. Grabbing a quill, William grabbed his paperwork. As Langris had said trying wasn’t good enough. William was a Captain and he couldn’t fall behind in both his duties and personal care. Tonight, for sure he’d sleep well (other wise Langris would be able to go through with his threat).

~

_A warm hand touched William’s scars, tracing around the tip of his ear to the top of his forehead. William’s eyes were closed but even with them closed he could tell it was Patri’s hand. Everything was slow, gentle, as though Patri wanted to memorise the shape of William, scars and all. At some point in time there were lips kissing the scars, trailing downward until lips were very lightly captured._

_Patri tasted fresh, like cotton, sunlight, and forest rolled into one. The memory of William’s house, the one in the forsaken realm, flashed in his mind._

~

William half yawned behind his hand and did his best to ignore the very sharp glare Langris shot him from across the meeting. Adding a fake cough, William turned his gaze back to his squad, the one senior member giving the report paused in talking.

“My apologies, please do continue,” William said with a warm smile.

“Ah, of course, Captain.”

She continued her report but her words slowly started to fade away, drifting into the background. In the back of William’s mind, he could still remember the ghost sensation of Patri touching his scars, kissing his scars, and then kissing him. The taste also lingered, like a dessert from the depths of nostalgia and childhood.

“Captain?”

William jerked his mind out of his thoughts and once again gave a very kind smile. “I’m sorry, could you repeat that?”

Langris half shot a dirty look at William, using some of his report to cover the scowl on his face. William kept his gaze forward on the senior magic knight in front of him. She coughed and arranged her papers, fingers fiddling at the edges for a second before obliging William.

When the meeting ended everyone left the room, though Langris lingered behind for a fraction of a second, his gaze hot on William. A long beat passed before he left, shutting the door behind him a bit too roughly. William sighed to himself and resisted the urge to lay his head on the table. Shutting his eyes for a moment, sleep touched the corners of his mind, threatening to consume him and drag him under. It took an embarrassingly long time for William to shake the heavy mantle of sleep off, stand up, and exit the room. He was a Captain after all; he couldn’t just sleep on the job.

~

_Patri’s arms were warmly wrapped around William, cradling him in his lap as they sat together, watching the clouds fly by. The empty void within William’s heart was gone, his heart and mind full and light. At some point in time Patri pressed a kiss to the side of William’s neck, loving and gentle._

~

Waking with a jolt William had to lay for a few moments, allowing his beating heart to slow down and the small burn of a blush across his entire face to fade. Closing his eyes for a moment, William pressed his hand against his face and rubbed a bit, before opening his eyes. The pale-yellow fingers of sunlight were starting to dance in his room. William reached up and touched his chest, right over his heart. Under his hand he could feel his heart beating slowly and surely, his pulse slowing down. Yet, deep down if William shut his eyes, he could still envision the void and emptiness within him. If the dreams were a strange way for his mind to attempt to fill the void it was getting tedious. Their reoccurrence was becoming ridiculous. Sleep still clung to his body, his brain wanting the oblivion of sleep to take him, but logic soon settled in. It was just a fraction too late to fall back asleep without risking sleeping in.

Hobbling out of bed, William made his way to the bathroom. Magical lights flickered on and under their light William’s reflection in the mirror appeared washed out. The scar on his face didn’t make his eyes darkly rimmed but William imagined that if he didn’t have the scar the skin around his eyes would be darkened. Still, they were lined and drooped in a way that screamed exhaustion fueled by a lack of sleep. A dull light also emitted from his eyes, glazed over with a coat of tiredness. Splashing some water on his face, William cleaned up, thankful for the duo purpose of the mask for not just hiding his scar but also his exhaustion. Giving one final look in the mirror William then left, changed, and exited his room.

Breakfast was once again a simple affair but with the extra time given from waking up early William was able to take his mug of coffee out to the garden. Sitting up on the tree’s branches once again, William sipped his coffee and watched the sun slowly rise in the sky. Soon his squad became mobilised, people milling around, once again heading to perform their duties. However, this time as breakfast slowly ended William left the tree, dropped off his single mug to be cleaned, and then walked out to the front, standing by their massive staircase.

Soon squad members from not just his squad but other squads cobbled together, chatting politely amongst themselves, giving William a very polite range of space. When the clock struck on the hour, a soft chime filling the area, William scanned the crowd before walking up a few of the steps so he had some height on everyone.

“Good morning, my fellow Magic Knights,” William greeted. At once everyone stopped talking and gave their attention to William. Waiting at least a beat William then continued. “Thank you for coming so early in the morning for training and practice. Time is of the essence and while I’m certain each of you are pushing yourselves at your own pace today, I’m here to assist and help you grow in your control of magic. For our morning practice today please don’t just look at me as a Captain but as a resource to help and aid you. If there are no questions, please follow me.”

No one raised their hand so with a flourish William lead everyone out. A short ride on brooms later and they were out of the capital and away from any houses or buildings. An open span of grass and flat field sat in front of them, giving the perfect space for shooting spells without injuring anyone or causing collateral damage. With the clouds in the sky hanging just right over the sun no one was being blinded and overheating. Landing in front of everyone, William turned to them.

“Before we start any structured drills spread yourselves out and warm up a little bit. There is no need for any flashy displays of power. This will allow me to see your abilities and magic.”

“Sir,” everyone gave a quick salute before doing as William asked.

Walking around William observed everyone, quickly categorising and organising them based on skill and magic type. Soon William had teams devised in his mind, ranging from a variety of types so everyone could practice against those who they had advantage and disadvantage over. Stopping everyone’s warm up, William then divided the teams before letting them practice. With everyone focused on their own tasks William allowed himself a moment to yawn and rest his brain. Sleep had only been brushed aside with the single cup of coffee William had consumed and while he wouldn’t say he needed the drink to function another cup would have been wise. Sleep was attempting to edge its way back and it took all of William’s will power to remain standing. His vision blurred a little and William suddenly considered his ability to still fly a broom in his state a miracle. Swallowing thickly William looked up at the sky and mentally calculated how long he had left. He had told them for the morning but if it extended out into the afternoon there wasn’t a lot William could do. His schedule had been cleared for the day after all and he couldn’t with good conscious brush their desire to improve off for his own desires.

So, with a very heavy yawn once again behind a hand, William pushed himself to keep being a good captain. Walking up to the first group, William watched them before fully shoving his exhaustion aside to give some pointers.

~

As William had suspected by the time morning had faded into the afternoon a good chunk of the magic knights still wanted to push themselves in their practicing. With the already foregone conclusion that his lunch would be slightly forfeit, William gave his best smile and continued to watch and give advice to the mages. By the time mid afternoon approached and everyone finally left William’s stomach was protesting and his exhaustion was hitting peak levels. As soon as everyone left William sat down by one of the singular trees in the field, took his mask off, and exhaled slowly. Flopping down on the grass William closed his eyes and soaked up the natural mana from the plants around him, allowing it to wash over him like a wave of comfort. A breeze picked up and suddenly William could sense someone walking towards him slowly. Opening his eyes, William managed to sit up just as a shadow of a person loomed over him. Blinking for a second, a slight wave of warm embarrassment filling him, William looked up at the person. The neutral beige of the Golden Dawn’s uniform followed by the rich blue, red, and gold accents hit William’s eyes. Then the breeze picked up again allowing the red cloak, the same shade that William had, to fly into his vision. Under the back light of the sun their face was obscured (also with the hood) but that was solved a flash later as the figure sat down beside William and tugged their hood off.

William’s lungs involuntarily collapsed with a hiss allowing air to burst from his lips in a sound that resembled a gasp. Remnants of his dream filled William’s mind and he very quickly shoved all of that aside, deep within his mind. The void that had been gnawing and eating away at him had slowly closed up, filling with such speed it left William dizzy. Focusing on the figure before him William stared as white hair danced in the wind, only held together in a ponytail. Golden eyes stared at William and with a very small smile Patri reached out and touched William’s shoulder. Jumping a little under the contact, William dryly swallowed (since when did his mouth dry out?) and found his voice.

“Patri?”

“William.”

“You’re here?” William’s heart immediately spiked with a sharp stab of fear and he glanced around but it was only him and Patri in the field. “Coming here is not a wise idea. We’re still close to the capital. Someone could see you.”

“I am,” Patri agreed with an almost amused tone, “and I’m taking precautions.” He then lifted his hand and put the hood back up. Instantly his ears and face were hidden. “See?”

The surrealness of the situation still hovered in the air but lingering on that wasn’t helpful. Instead, William raised an eyebrow and allowed himself to go with the flow. “Dare I ask where you got that?”

It was Patri’s turn to raise his eyebrow. A small laugh escaped his lips as he reached up to touch the blue fur of the collar. “You’re calmer than I expected," he muttered before answering. “You left an extra uniform at the old base. Remember? Always told me it was there just in case.”

Oh, right. William could vaguely remember the base Patri and the rest of the Eye of the Midnight Sun had occupied. He had always done his best to spend as little time there as possible.

“You’re not even asking the obvious question," Patri continued.

The obvious question? Now that the surprise of seeing Patri had faded long with the fear of someone seeing him, exhaustion once again crept up within William. His mind was fuzzy but William pushed through it and thought for a moment.

“Why are you here?” He finally asked after some silence. “I thought you left.” Left with his real companions.

Patri edged a little closer and reached out to touch William once more. This time his fingers were on William’s face, gently touching the skin near his one eye. “You look tired,” Patri noted. “Working yourself ragged?”

William squirmed a little. How did he tell Patri that it was more than just work? That the void within him and the dreams that had started to crop up were keeping him from having decent sleep? That despite everything William missed him?

“Sort of," William muttered. “The capital won’t fix itself.” That and they had other issues to attend to. Issues that had a time limit of six months.

As though sensing his thoughts Patri immediately frowned. His fingers didn’t leave William’s face. “There is more to your exhaustion.”

Freezing William for a brief second wondered how he’d keep the issues with the Heart and Spade Kingdom a secret before logic wormed its way in. Patri had no way to read his mind. Not that he ever really did. Their telepathic link had been more akin to talking aloud to one another. Still, what would William even say if Patri asked about the Heart and Spade Kingdoms? Denial? Julius had told them to keep everything as silent as possible after all.

However, to William’s confusion Patri blushed a little bit, his cheeks pinkening against the obvious alabaster of his skin. Their gazes slid off each other before Patri opened his mouth.

“You missed me.”

His voice filled the air, despite the softness of it, and William all at once wanted to agree with Patri and counter Patri’s words. Heat pooled in William’s stomach and a small rush of embarrassment began to form, seeping into his system. Missing someone wasn’t necessarily a bad thing but somehow missing Patri felt childish, as though in missing Patri William was acting clingy. He opened his mouth. Nothing came out. Patri continued.

“I suppose I should explain myself,” Patri very delicately bit his lip. “It, um, seems as though our connection hasn’t fully disappeared.”

What? The mystery of Patri’s sentence immediately overtook the embarrassment. William leaned in. “What do you mean by that?”

“You know how when clothing becomes tattered you see the thread slowly unravelling before it fully comes undone? That’s sort of the same idea with us. Only elves are more sensitive to mana so… I could tell you weren’t sleeping well. I kept feeling it.”

The embarrassment returned in full force. Just how much had Patri been feeling? It wasn’t possible for Patri to know about the dreams, was it? William suddenly very much wanted the ground to swallow him. Or for a tree to spurt with the roots wrapping around him, enclosing him in the trunk.

“And I guess everyone was sick of me waking up at odd hours. Rhya dropped me off here using spatial magic.”

Logic once again bounced itself in place of mortification allowing William to once again speak, his voice returning. “Waking up?”

Patri’s cheeks darkened. “I couldn’t sleep either. The remnants of our connection kept me up.”

“Oh," William said with the least amount of elegance he had displayed in a long time. “That’s kind of him?”

“Very elegant, William,” Patri half teased before he snuggled closer. “And it’s less kind and more troubleshooting for Rhya," he then closed his eyes.

“Troubleshooting?”

Patri yawned. “You’re tired. I’m tired. Yet being back together has stopped that tugging in our minds, yes?”

William’s mouth once again dried out and he could only nod stiffly. The void that had been plaguing him had all but faded within Patri’s presence.

“Then, let’s have a nap here. You have the time. I know you. You cancelled any meetings or pressing matters for the day.”

What could William say to that? Exhaustion had caught up to him and even through the range of emotions William had felt upon seeing Patri again, he could sort those out later. Closing his eyes, William allowed himself to lean against the tree and relax. Sleep instantly came, light and fragile, but sleep none the less.

~

When William woke the sun was slowly sliding down, a little less high in the sky than it was earlier. Patri was still sleeping against his shoulder, heavy and warm. William took a moment to admire the soft features of the elf. Asleep Patri was down right ethereal, too beautiful for the world to hold. His fingers itched and the desire to touch his face and hair ran through William. He tightened his grip on his pant legs and glanced around the area. It was lucky that no one in his squad came looking for them while they were asleep but now that William was awake what was he going to do? He couldn’t very well stay in the field but he couldn’t just leave Patri alone. Maybe he should wake him up? William reached over, about to gently shake Patri when a small spike in mana appeared. Tensing, William readied himself to fire a spell, but paused as Rhya walked towards them, a smug smile dancing across his face.

Had Rhya was near by as well? William hadn’t noticed until now but perhaps he was using one of the many copied abilities he had in his arsenal? Silence filled the area and now that William had at least an hour or so of uninterrupted sleep his brain was functioning just a little bit faster. Smoothing his expression, William gave a cordial nod.

“Rhya.”

“William Vangeance. It seems you had a nice moment with Patri while simultaneously taking a page out of my book and napping. I’ll just be taking him off your hands.”

That made sense. “Should I wake him?”

“Naw, I can always carry him.”

“There is no need for that,” Patri was slowly sitting up, rubbing his eyes. “You’re so loud.”

“What?” Rhya gave a startled, mock wounded look. “I was as silent as ever.”

“Your mana is too loud.”

“Oh, my bad. I’ll just tone it down as I leave without you.”

“Rhya…”

“I’m kidding. Get up. You had your fun. Time to go. I’m sure our dear Captain here has things to do.”

“William cleared his schedule," Patri immediately corrected, a small knit between his eyebrows appearing. “He’s in no hurry.”

“That’s lovely but we are,” Rhya drawled. “So, say your goodbyes quickly, kiddos. I’ll just be off the side, waiting.”

He meandered to the side, giving a small width of space. Patri sighed and adjusted the hood once more, fingers then falling to the cord along the top, playing with it. “Sorry that I need to go so soon and that this meeting was so spontaneous.”

“It’s fine.”

“You’ve always been so kind, William,” Patri gave a very warm smile. “Do you mind if I keep this robe?”

There was little reason to say no. William shook his head. “I don’t mind. You can keep it.”

“I’ll cherish this then,” Patri’s fingers fell from the cord. “There is something big you’re doing. Not just you but the kingdom itself, right?” William froze. “Don’t worry I won’t press. I can use my own imagination to figure it out," Patri stepped closer to William. “Thank you, William, for this small moment together. Fleeting as it is and as sparse as they’ll be in the future.”

“Right," William’s heart was already aching slightly at the idea of Patri leaving. It was for the best, as always. “Take care.”

Patri nodded before giving a very long look at William. He then stepped even closer to William, invading his personal space. With a strong grip Patri tugged William so their foreheads knocked against one another’s.

“You know,” Patri whispered, as though they were two children telling a secret to one another, “I did neglect to mention something.”

“You did?” William would have tilted his head but it would have broken their contact.

“I sort of felt impressions of your dream,” Patri continued to whisper.

Once again William froze, body tensing. He attempted to pull back but Patri kept him in place with his grip, easily using only one hand. “I’m sorry.” What else was there to say? The dreams were highly inappropriate to begin with and it was a miracle Patri wasn’t feeling awkward around him.

“I’m not upset; I’m very flattered," Patri pulled away just a bit. “In fact, I’d very much like to kiss you, if you’d let me?”

He wanted them to what? William’s heart skipped a very large beat and suddenly there wasn’t enough air to his lungs. Patri waited a moment before he slightly frowned. “Was I too forward?”

“I—” William’s voice caught. “No, not exactly. Just surprised.”

“I see," Patri muttered. “Then, you aren’t objecting to my request?”

It took all of William’s strength to force his mouth to move, his voice a soft whisper. “No, I’m not.”

Patri smiled and leaned back in, pressing their lips together. (In the background, William swore he heard Rhya mutter “about time.”) Like his dream, Patri tasted exactly like and unlike cotton, sunlight, and nature. The edge to their kiss was sharp, as though everything in the moment had been filtered through a fine crystal lens. Yet, there was an undercurrent of something else, something only reality could produce. His dreams couldn’t replicate the heat of their bodies or the physical pressure of their lips against one another’s. Then, just as soon as it started it ended. Patri pulled away, his lips darker and shinier. It sent a warm shiver through William’s spine and he foolishly wanted nothing more than to pull Patri into another kiss. Selfish of him. William stepped away, hand touching his lips.

“That was nice," Patri broke the silence. “Shame we couldn’t have done that earlier.” He then pulled William into a warm hug. “I’ll see you later, all right? As soon as I can. Take care.”

William returned the hug. “Yes, I agree. I’ll see you later. Take care.”

Patri stepped out of their hug, a very small smile on his face. Then, he walked over to Rhya and a moment later they were gone, leaving only the grass, leaves, and a warm heart accompanying William.

~

That night William slept well, though the weight and heat of Patri’s lips hadn’t faded away. Instead it lingered, not just physically but internally within William’s heart.

**Author's Note:**

> Patri: I've seen his name written multiple ways, but this is the way AO3 tags it and it's also the spelling I like the best, so I went with it.
> 
> Murky timeline: I sort of played around with the timeline, particularly what's happening in their six month window before assisting the Heart Kingdom.
> 
> Gift to the Black Bulls: He probably sent a fruit basket or something. Charmy is Very Pleased.
> 
> William's mask: I know we see him at the Captain's meeting without his mask in Episode 130 but I think he still wears it around his own squad.
> 
> Langris: I've decided that in the series we've only seen Langris as he interacts with Finral. That's bringing out the more personal side to Langris. However, I like to believe there has to be some professionalism within Langris to maintain his Vice Captain position. I decided this because the Golden Dawn is filled with a ton of talented nobles, so I feel Langris has to at least show everyone why he should be considered Vice Captain in areas beyond just his immense magic abilities. Basically, I wanted to write Langris as an Actual Vice Captain. Also, I needed someone to be Blunt to William and I couldn't think of anyone else in the squad who would be blunt to William.
> 
> Extra Golden Dawn Robe: I just thought it would be a practical sort of thing arranged during the time the two were sharing a body. Plus, now Patri has a piece of William with him? Also in an omake in my heart Patri uses this as an opportunity to sneak into William's office, knowing he'll blend in with the others. (Though this does make me wonder if William is the only one with a red cape? So maybe not an entirely good camouflage but this is just a silly idea anyways.)
> 
> Impressions from one another: I thought about this and I decided (at least for this fic) that since William and Patri were together for so long as separate people that magical connection won't just disappear entirely, but linger for a while. Also it was convenient for the fic.


End file.
